By this we mean, “I don’t care what you think; I care what I think.
For example, you meet someone in business for the first time, and make the innocent yet fatal mistake of asking – “how are you”?. A half hour later, as they come up for air, you tell them it was nice to meet them and you wish them well. You slowly get up, using all the self-control you can muster not to dash for the door, like a person whose hair is on fire runs to the nearest water bucket. You have just been subjected to over-disclosure, inappropriately sharing, or worse – the self sabotaging behavior of imposing personal beliefs in the business environment. Plainly stated, the urge to share your opinions and beliefs with just about everyone you meet. These can range from the minor (i.e. food preference) to the major (i.e. politics, religion, social issues). We place beliefs about your favorite sports team in its own category, and encourage you to stay out of business social situations where alcohol is served (where sports attachments and egos run rampant amid less self-control).
For those who think others should care about what you think – we have shocking news for you. Nobody, and we mean nobody, sincerely cares what you think about these issues, unless they have a meaningful relationship with you – and then, out of caring or respect, they will tolerate your personal beliefs. They may care about what you think about them; they may care about your suitability for a job; they may care about your business approach to solving one of their problems, but they certainly don’t care about your personal beliefs.
Business is about what your prospect, client or customer needs to improve their condition. It is about understanding their needs and framing ways to meet their needs and add value. What you believe is truly not important to your buyer – unless your buyer happens to be a very tolerant and forgiving friend. Business is about understanding your clients’ needs; it’s not about sharing yours. One of the consequences of freely sharing your beliefs and opinions is a quiet “deselect”-of you, your business, your services.
We encourage cautious and thoughtful sharing on personal beliefs as related to business, and offer five actions to consider:
- Keep your conversation on the client’s needs / issues / purpose for the meeting,
- Do not initiate personal and controversial issues at key business events and meetings
- Avoid entering or joining into emotional discussions on personal or controversial issues
- When talking about sports, keep it unemotional – remember you goal is to gain a customer, not prove your team is better than their team,
- If the client or prospect asks for your personal opinion on a controversial issue, reserve it. If you want to discuss it dispassionately, go ahead. It may show the client you are conversant on a wide range of issues. If you see the client getting emotionally involved in the discussion, back out by turning the discussion back to the business discussion.
Remember, in a business situation, your client or prospect is ultimately interested in your help with solving their problems and challenges, not in your personal beliefs. Meet them there.
Copyright 2009 Kubica and LaForest
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