As we presented in our Blog on Monday, many talented people (and particularly women) struggle with deep self-doubt, regardless of their high achievements.
Here are some indicators to consider. And as you read them, rate yourself by answering each question with: rarely, sometimes, regularly, always.
1. Do you say to yourself, “I’m not good enough.”? “I’ve never done this before”. “They’re going to find me out?”
2. Do you say to others, “I don’t deserve this, I’m not that good, I’ve just been lucky.?”
3. Do you limit yourself by not taking on new challenges and ventures because of your fears of competency and self-worth?
Now, honestly, in our experience, most of us will say yes to these questions, as some self-doubt and fear is natural, and truthfully healthy because it is an old survival instinct coming into play. The bigger question now is – how often?
If the frequency is regularly or always, you are losing out on opportunities and wasting valuable energy. And the results, you are sabotaging yourself and your future.
If this resonates with you, if you feel you may be sabotaging yourself by playing the “I am an Imposter” game, stop in now and use one or all of the suggestions below to help you:
1. Identify exactly what you are saying to yourself about why you feel you are an imposter (write down the words – words have power so understand the words you are using).
2. Now ask yourself – is there any evidence to support this? If you have been successful when promoted, if your projects and tasks have been successful, then the answer is no. There is no evidence so redirect your thinking from negative to positive. Yes, use your words but frame them in the positive not the negative. As an examples:
a. Change your words from negative to positive – such as – this is a new project and based on my experience in the past, I can handle it and what is new I will do what I did before, learn and ask for help.
b. Just tell yourself to STOP IT! There is no evidence, therefore you’re making it up. It’s wasting your time.
3. Talk with a trusted friend, colleague or advisor. Someone who knows you; someone you have confidence in. Sometimes it’s best to trust another and get honest feedback. If they don’t see an imposter and the evidence doesn’t support it – trust it.
And remember, the difference between successful people and un-successful people isn’t that they have doubts – for they do. The difference is that successful people, in spite of their doubts, do it anyway.
Copyright 2010 Kubica and LaForest
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