This Blog has to do with how you manage your people, how you recognize them, how you encourage them and how well you do at making them feel appreciated.
In How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1940), he tells of story about why Andrew Carnegie paid Charles Schwab a million dollars a year. He paid him that vast sum of money (this was the late1800’s) because of his ability to deal with people.
Charles Schwab says it best in his own words:
“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop that in a man is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a man as criticism from his superiors.”
Yet criticism often predominates in business. And it shows itself by focusing primarily on what didn’t go well or what the person could do better or by a few sentences of saying something positive and supportive then moving quickly into what didn’t go well. And, of course, is prefaced by the powerful three letter word – “but”. “But” is used as an opposing proposition. So, once the word “but” is uttered, everything you just said is quickly forgotten as the person now braces for your “constructive criticism”. “But” erases what came before it.
We do not advocate flattery, let alone artificial recognition, or ignoring the need for improvement in the employee. We do advocate a shift in the imbalance of criticism/appreciation to appreciation/opportunities to improve.
And here are some myths:
- People know what they do well, it’s my job to point out what they don’t do well
- Why do I need to waste time with appreciation, I’m busy, let’s cut to chase and focus on what needs to get better
- If people can’t take the truth they need to find another job.
We have an important message for you – no one, and that includes you, likes to have the focus on only what’s not going well, as it taints experience. If that’s all you hear, it has a powerful de-motivating effect on you that can ultimately result in learned helplessness, loss of confidence or quitting – and clearly, morale and productivity are impacted. None of which is good for the company or your business.
Delivering helpful verses hurtful feedback is a skill, and a skill most people sincerely can improve upon. This falls into the “emotional intelligence” of the deliverer to best work with the core yet over-looked element of the emotional management factors on employee performance and development.
In this week’s Quick Tips we will provide ideas and suggestions and how to build your emotional IQ skills to deliver feedback that is helpful and promotes improvement verses de-motivation.
Copyright 2011 Kubica LaForest Consulting
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